Life Lesson that 2022 taught me in a harsh way

life Lesson that 2022 taught me in a harsh way
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It was late in the evening around 10 pm and I was trying to wrap up with daily chores for a hectic morning. My phone rang, a call from the priest confirming his time to reach our new house on 1st July, the auspicious day of Ratha Yatra and the best one for a housewarming ceremony. After attending the call, I also checked my whats app messages as I did not have time to check them since morning. My eyes caught on the forwarded message from my youngest uncle, a poem by great poetess Mahadevi Verma.

???☘️ राम राम ☘️???

महादेवी वर्मा
की सुंदर पंक्तियाँ

आ गए तुम?
द्वार खुला है, अंदर आओ..!

पर तनिक ठहरो..
ड्योढी पर पड़े पायदान पर,
अपना अहं झाड़ आना..!

मधुमालती लिपटी है मुंडेर से,
अपनी नाराज़गी वहीँ उड़ेल आना..!

तुलसी के क्यारे में,
मन की चटकन चढ़ा आना..!

अपनी व्यस्ततायें,बाहर खूंटी पर ही टांग आना..!

जूतों संग, हर नकारात्मकता उतार आना..!

बाहर किलोलते बच्चों से,
थोड़ी शरारत माँग लाना..!

वो गुलाब के गमले में,
मुस्कान लगी है..
तोड़ कर पहन आना..!

लाओ, अपनी उलझनें मुझे थमा दो..
तुम्हारी थकान पर, मनुहारों का पँखा झुला दूँ..!

देखो, शाम बिछाई है मैंने,
सूरज क्षितिज पर बाँधा है,
लाली छिड़की है नभ पर..!

प्रेम और विश्वास की मद्धम आंच पर, चाय चढ़ाई है,
घूँट घूँट पीना..!

सुनो, इतना मुश्किल भी नहीं हैं जीना..!!. ??

‘Ram Ram’ were the words that caught my eyes as well as my thoughts. It’s used both for greetings as well as goodbye.

For a moment a thought flashed, why did he send such a message after a long gap?

Since morning he was in my thoughts as I wanted to convey the good news of our housewarming ceremony. Very few were aware that we acquired a new house and were shifting after the ‘Griha Pravesa’.

I was happy to see the message and was about to call him back but then my twins needed their mom and the call got postponed, the thought that preceded was to message back. Thinking the following day after the kids are at school, I would have ample time. Nothing much to do except supervise the cleaning and do some main door decoration for the ceremony. I said to myself that I can call back to him when cleaning work would be going on and speak to him at length without my kid’s intervention. As of now, the best is to reply to him back on what’s app.

The next morning I geared up with full enthusiasm as we were going to move into our new house in a day’s time. My excitement was more as I could talk to my uncle at length. I knew he would be very happy for me.

After dropping my kids at school I headed straight to the new house informing Urban Clap guys to be there sharp at 8.30 am. The moment I opened the main door I could smell the fresh paint on the walls and I was happy with our choice of wall colors, lights, and interiors of course. A broad smile was there on my face as I moved around the house, checking the wooden floors, the paints on the walls, and the garden views from our balcony everything looked nice and welcoming.

In the meantime, Urban Clap guys reached and started their job, after giving them instructions I sat in one corner with my bag. Took out my phone to give a call and I could see a missed group video call by my sisters but somehow my mom was not there in that call usually group call means four of us (my mom and we, three sisters).

My sisters called again, congratulating me and as a proud owner, I was flaunting them my possession. Showing them the rooms, balcony view, light arrangements etc etc.

After the group video call by my sisters, I was about to call back my uncle around 10 am. Before I could do that my mom called up and all I could hear was her sobbing.

She fumbled while trying to say something important to me.

I kept asking, what happened?

Why are you wailing?

She said, ‘Lalu heart attack re chali gale’ in Odia which meant he is no more.

I cannot describe what I felt at that moment. At first, I thought he had a heart attack and he’s in ICU. As my mind was not receptive to this news. Wondering there was a flicker of hope but my mom confirmed he is gone forever.

I sat down with a thud on the floor. Questioning my mom, how is this possible?

I quickly checked my what’s app messages to see what he had replied, being sure I had replied last night. To my dismay and utter surprise, I had never implemented my thoughts.

Alas!! it remained as a thought only. In the humdrum of life, I had never replied to him back which I wanted to do last night.

My mind was flooded with his memories, and his words of wisdom. A true IITian, spent his entire life at Roorkee, firstly as a student and then continued there as an educator. A revered professor whose life revolved around the university and his students.

” Sometimes the words left unspoken are the most important ones that should have been spoken.”

Conveying about my housewarming ceremony was not important but that last conversation would have been a last goodbye, at least. I could have heard his sonorous voice for the last time. Apart from being an academician, a painter, photographer, sculptor, and a football player. A strong-willed and helpful soul was gone forever, who had shaped the destiny of hundreds of his students.

My heart will always repent for not having that last conversation with my uncle who was not only a father figure but also a friend and guide to me.

Since that day I make sincere efforts to connect with my family and friends who are in touch with me on regular basis.

We take our loved ones for granted until a mishap happens to build a connection again and I learned it in a harsh way.

Life is a water bubble,

Always be in touch with your loved ones,

Before it bursts.

This blog post is part of the Let’s Say Hello 2023 blogging activity hosted by Swarnali Nath .

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28 thoughts on “Life Lesson that 2022 taught me in a harsh way

  1. Thats a heartfelt post Debi. And the concluding saying is something I always keep reminding myself.. I can completely understand how you must have felt when you got the news. Sometimes, things happen unintentionally from. us. But they teach us a long long lesson.

  2. I relate to you. My father’s sister sent me a message and I typed a reply but never sent it. On the day of her demise, I realized that. She might have thought that I didn’t reply despite seeing the message. Henceforth I make sure to put a reply to everyone. Your narrative touched a chord with me

    1. It’s heartwrenching when you are unable to make that last conversation. I completely understand your pain.

  3. This was a heart-wrenching experience to know. Am very sad to know about your uncle, Di. Didn’t know about this experience and how much pain you were going through. The incident teaches us we should connect to the people we want to have in our lives and be in touch with them whatever maybe the rush we have in life. I can feel your pain, how painful it feels when you couldn’t tell your words to the person and he left. I believe he will stay in your prayer always, might be there was an urgency for a kind soul like him in heaven. That’s why he parted so soon. May his soul rest in peace. Sending you good vibes and hugs.

    1. Thanks, Swarnali. It also taught me a lesson not to procrastinate to connect with someone.

    2. So many times we have smiled when a person sends a message but just reply with an emoji. So many times we think we will call and then the humdrum of life makes that thought slip. Your post has brought back the harsh reality that there is no time like present. I am sure this must have been a very tough post to write. But your post tells us to stay in touch, to pick that phone and call.
      Hugs to you!

  4. May his soul Rest in peace. True words. Felt in heart.. As we get older and become a parent we get wiser as well and learn the importance of Life. I’m a father of twin boys. Glad to know you have twins too. Belated Happy ? New year ?? ?

  5. So true Debi, some words are always left unsaid wiith our loved ones and those are the very same words that would haunt us in the life. Even I learnt this lesson in a hard way, so could totally understand you on this angle

    1. True Suhasini, at times life teaches us in its own harsh way. However, pure your intentions are.

  6. Yes, we take our loved ones for granted. My mom messages me good morning everyday and I used to make faces and never used to reply. Then some day I was very tense and got better only after talking to her. That day I realized that I may grown into a mom today but I still need my mom to hear me out. From that day, I just reply with a smilie but I do.

    1. At times people who care for us and send their concerns through msgs or forwards we take for granted.

  7. A very heart touching narrative. I lost my aunt bua to covid and i had a similar experience with her. Till date i regret not making that call. Sometimes life has its own way to teach us. Hugs to you

  8. Hey Debi, please don’t blame yourself. You didn’t do it on purpose. Life is such. I didn’t get to talk to my husband or my son for the last time. I am learning still to let go and not be harsh on myself. Let go of the past and be mindful of the future is what we can do. I used to play the victim before, but not anymore. Last year, I have grown in leaps and bounds mentally and am proud of who I am today.

    1. I salute you, Harjeet for the way you have come out from the loss of your loved ones. You are an inspiration in so many ways to me. I always respect you a lot for the dedication you have for your work and life as a whole. Kudos to your undying spirit.You remind me of the example of ‘dhruva’ or grass, nothing can crush your spirits.

  9. My condolences, Debi. That must have been hard hitting. We never know how quickly things can change. It is so important to prioritize our loved ones, which we often miss to do when life gets in the way. Hope you have a beautiful year ahead with your loved ones.

  10. I’m so sorry for your loss. Yes, sometimes things that can be put away take precedence over family and although one can’t unchange what’s done, please don’t let it pull you down. Maybe it wasn’t bound to happen. I’m dure he’s blessing you from up above. Have a good year ahead!

  11. That’s really an unexpected thing, but the bitter truth of life. I also faced the same thing when my Mama Ji passed away during the Covid-19. I felt the same as what you felt for your uncle. A few memories are always there in the mind, but that’s the life. We have to face this bitter truth of life. Life teaches us many ways, but we take our relationships for granted. I hope God gives us the knowledge and the strength to maintain the relationship with our loved ones.

  12. I tried commenting twice. Sorry dear that my comment did not reach you. Honestly even I think new year is just a continuity of life with more of life and experiences. Even with my paternal Grand dad the same thing happened I thought to call back from the hostel but forgot. And he was no more when I returned home after the last college working day in 2013. But no one does it with an intension but happens. May your uncle’s soul rest in peace. And wishing you a wonder filled and happiness filled 2023 debi?❤️??

    1. Hey dear, special thanks as you took the pain to comment twice ppl don’t even bother to do it once even if it’s a rule in the bloghop. Life is a rollercoaster ride and we must move forward with the lesson learned.

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