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The Woman That I Am Today.

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The Woman that I am today

It was a cold and somber night when a 23 year-old girl stepped out with her friend to watch a movie never to return back home. Little did she know, that wintry night would be her last.

Yes, you all would have guessed by now the horrific gang rape of 16th December, 2012 that shook the entire country and raised questions on the thought process of the men of our country.

It was widely discriminated both in India as well as abroad further tarnishing our image as a country. A country is more known by its people than geographical boundaries, culture or heritage.

More shocking was when rapists were successful in twisting the arms of law by postponing the hanging dates not once but twice. This is the justice received to the family of the victim after fighting 7 long years .

Candle marches, nation wide protests, onscreen as well as off-screen debates lead to nothing. The rarest of rare case saw no amendments in juvenile crime law who not only raped but did something so heinous that I dread to think or read or imagine even.

We all had slept over this case till recently it surfaced once again before us through media. Probably only one woman who was the mother of Nirbhaya, could not give her fight, as mothers never give up on their child.

I too woke up when I saw the heart-wrenching video of Nirbhaya’s mother on the scheduled hanging day.

Her tears have dried up over the years of struggle and fight for justice but she stood there as rock to fight till her last breath. Her daughter who should have been dead that night itself fought for almost fortnight because she had the quest for life maybe not for herself but for her parents. For no fault of hers, she was lying on a death bed in a vegetative state, the only fault of hers was she resisted the assault and fought every minute without any fear of being beaten ruthlessly or even killed.

That’s what we woman are built off. We know how to rise like Phoenix from the ashes. Nature has embedded the “Never to give-up attitude” deep within us.

We are not safe in our homes nor in our own country. Everybody speaks about the incidents, abuses, domestic violence but no one talks about

How to bring change”?

The only constant that can set the societal parameters in right order.

What can we do to change the mindset?? Nirbhaya incident should have been the last gang rape probably recorded but to utter dismay more cases surfaced from various parts of the country in recent past. Women of influential and highly-educated background were also not being spared.

Nirbhaya incident and many more horrific incidents have transformed me from a carefree girl to a worried mother.

Today I am the woman who fears for her daughter in school and whenever she steps out.

Today, I am that woman who fears to step out late in the night.

Today I am also that woman who reads daily about atrocities on woman.

I am also the woman who have to teach her 3 year-old twins, what’s good and bad touch all about.

Today I am an anxious mother if school bus is late even by a minute.

Today, I am a suspicious aunt who assures her daughter is safe even when she is playing with her cousin brother.

Today, have I become a mother who worries more than usual? Probably, YES.

Or is it the incidents around me taking a toll.

Today I am that woman who desperately wants the CHANGE.

To break-free from the shackles of fear.

But who will bell the cat to bring the CHANGE?

Should I wait for any man to come in shining Armour to slay all my fear??

Or be that Woman to bring change??

Here I join the hands with the mothers of the fearless to take a pledge to bring that Change.

We were enough crushed and trampled , not only our dreams but are identities too.

Time has come for the change.

We, take the Onus of bringing Change by raising our Sons and daughters ,

EQUAL and RIGHT.

Womanhood can only be celebrated in true spirits and meaning only when we don’t give up our fight. Don’t accept to be crushed and rise like a Phoenix from the ashes.

Hope 3rd March,2020 brings a new Dawn in the chapter of Justice and finally Nirbhaya gets it.

May Justice prevail…….

This post is a part of ‘The Woman That I Am’ Blog Hop #TheWomanThatIAm organised by Rashi Roy and Manas Mukul #RRxMM. The Event is sponsored by Kraffitti.


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80 thoughts on “The Woman That I Am Today.

  1. Mothers never give up on their child. We are the fearless moms and are rising like Phoenix like you said, to make our future generation live in a better world. Such a heart touching post. Srength to all superwoman!!

  2. You are right somewhere . After the long delayed justice to Nirbhaya all mothers feel more worried for their daughters . No doubt we women are strong we have the ability to rise from the ashes but what can be done of that part of society which is fullfof men’s lust ?? Sometimes mind gets dumb ….your post jerked me once again . Good writeup.

  3. You’ve brought in the open all the questions that plague every woman in India. Yes, our mindset needs to change, to bring about change. Thought provoking post, this one!

  4. Poignant and thought provoking post. Most often everything happening outside is just news for us. To be read, watched on tv and then forgotten.
    We need to wake up, shake off the lethargy and be the Change we want!

  5. Hello Debi Di! Your post was a trembling one. Just the way you said, my mom is too afraid of me and my sister for stepping out of home. That’s way, yes I do blv, we also have changed and so did our mom. Loved the way you portrayed the present scenario. Let’s pray for a better tomorrow. Love for ur kids, and more power to you.

  6. Very hard-hitting and soulful. An unfortunate reality of today’s world that leaves you speechless. That’s when powerful words flow through and challenge the mindset of people. May justice be done; praying for the day where none has to fear while stepping out of their houses.

  7. Brilliantly written….and you are right its time to bring the change. I do hope 3rd March will really be the date of justice for nirbhaya. It’s been loong time coming

  8. Very well written Debidutta! How can we forget that spine chilling incident of December 2012, from that day innumerable Nirbhayas has come, victimized and crushed, unfortunately our judiciary system was lame still today, strict laws regarding these incidents should be implemented on urgent basis, As it’s a call of time, ignorance can cause heavy damage on coming generation’s present and future.

    1. Thanks Archana. Frankly speaking i felt more safe when I was out of country. Then I realized how pathetic our situations have become.

  9. This comes straight from every woman’s heart and is such a sad reality. As a mother of two girls, I too live in constant fear and no country can thrive till its women are safe. Nirbhaya hanging has become a mockery of judicial system. Hope justice finally prevails.

    1. Yes, Surbhi it was heart wrenching to see Nirbhaya’s mother standing all alone for her fight. We are the world’s largest populated country and we are least concerned for a life gone so brutally.

  10. Hello, Debi. You’re right. We are all worried mothers and cannot trust anyone, even our own relatives. Unfortunately our surroundings have changed the way we think. But our generation is also trying to raise their children to respect the other gender, be it man or woman. We ha e to wait and watch what unfolds.

    Janaki@beyondthe familiar

  11. The current situation saddens us all, as moms. Fear crepts upon at the mere mention of word Rape. But all we can do is have hope in Almighty. Also it’s very important now, to raise our kids with equality. Raise kind humans!
    Well expressed.

  12. Excellent post! We women must bring about the change, no on else will. Bring up our daughters to defend themselves and to be strong. Also bring up sons to be respectful and sensitive to women. Our duty is not over with giving birth and feeding them…

  13. Rise from the ashes just like phoenix ….that’s true most of the woman are built of that stuff. I agree we do not have to give up and keep going till we change this mindset.

  14. You are right. Nothing was changed in the scene until today. Criminals find the loo poles to twist the punishment of the crime. I saw Nirbhaya’s mother on T.V. many times. She begged for the death punishment for the criminals. And At last, that is going to happen in March. Salute the courage and the determination f that lady!

    Deepika Mishra

  15. Completely agree with you, Debidutta. We celebrate Women’s Day just for the sake of it. Women still feel unsafe in broad daylight. Worse in a crowd. High time for more strict laws.

  16. You are right, All of us who have daughters have become so much more sacred. And yet it is for all of us to bring about that change. You have brought out the pain and fear of a mother so well.
    Deepika Sharma

    1. Thanks Deepika for reading it. I shiver from the thought the pain that Nirbhaya and many girls have to go through. The entire family suffers too. May be our voice against such brutality can bring change.

  17. My heart goes out for the family of the Victims. We as Indians should take some stern decisions to stop such gory acts and unless we take some action against such incidents, this will not stop. Your poem was really well written Debidutta. With a hope for an end to such acts and prevalence of Justice, I also wish they never happen to anyone.
    — rightpurchasing.com

    1. Thanks Sundeep . You are right in mentioning that Govt. has to come up with very stern action for such heinous acts. At times I feel so helpless that we are just waiting things to improve but years pass on and nothing happens.

  18. Heartfelt, heart-wrenching and deep post.
    Completely agree on all the lines in poem of how present day mom feels for much needed change.
    True said women are like phoenix and hats off to nirbhaya’s mom and many such females who have not given up their fight, as it’s their hope to survive.

    1. Thanks Pragun for giving it a read. Those Moms are waiting just for justice and we take close to a decade to punish those criminals. what a Pity?

  19. If only justice gets served! Even though I’m not a mother, I end up scanning the surroundings when kids play outside. Sometimes I’m worried I’m being paranoid. But that’s a better option compared to not being alert. I can imagine how much stress mothers go through when their babies step out of the house.

  20. It is such a sad scenerio where a daughters mother is always worried about the safety of her daughter instead of a son’s mother being the one who teaches her son to respect women and make this country a safer place for them.

    1. Yes, I feel it more as I am mother of both . Raising our sons and daughters equal and Right is the only solution to such gory acts.

  21. my heart skips a beat every single time my kid steps out. We aren’t safe anywhere.. but u said it all..raising kids as equal and right would set the right precedence for this society. Lets join hands together..

  22. Unfortunate circumstances we face as women, thia was perhaps the worst any girl could suffer. We need to empower our girls and teach our boys so that such incidents do not repeat again. We should bring about a change as women. The power lies with us.

  23. Sexual violence is the primal fear that all of us women have this topic is pertinent always and every day, glad you could connect it to the theme of this blog hop, really appreciate this.

    1. Thanks Pooja, coming from you means a lot. This incident had shook me from core and we women who lay the foundation of society are so helpless.

  24. Your post was heartwrenching..I saw the video of Nirbhaya’s mother’s despair and it just broke my heart..We as women really live in fear most of the time due to the these events..Of course a mother can never give up,and why should she ever give up? Touching lines on the end kind of summed up the fear and love for children.. Best wishes for the future..

    1. Thanks Pashmeena, the worst that in the largest democratic country we don’t even get justice after being sentenced. It’s a pity and sheer mockery of Judicial system.

  25. Instead of breaking each other down through gossip and judgmental behaviour, we have to build a strong community with all the woman around so that we all stand for each other in times of sadness and problems. After all, we’re stronger together than we are apart. Next time there is any crime against any female, we all should let them know that we are against woman crime and no woman deserves to live in fear of any kind. Through even the smallest action, we can celebrate our womanhood every day.

  26. A thought-provoking and very well-attempted post to bring about a change in the mindset of the society we live in. As a woman and a mother of a 6 year old girl I live in the same fear and I resonate with each and every word you have spilled here straight from your heart, it is heart-breaking to see that till date there is no proper law formed on this issue and the fear continues to reside within us.

  27. I remember participating in candle marches on 2012 after the horrific incident so that the rapists get hanged soon. And that soon became 7+ years. I don’t feel safe to travel solo because of the horrific incidents that we read in the newspaper.
    Your post is extremely relatable and hard-hitting. I hope Nirbhaya gets justice on March,2020. Fingers crossed!

  28. I agree with you, today’s world is very tough to survive and we parents of a girl child are worried everywhere so, we need to wake up and also need to change our mindset for changing this situation in our country.I wish never happen again like this situation with anyone.

  29. Well written straight from the heart of every mother .It’s a bitter truth that our daughters are not safe.We can’t take a sigh of relief when our daughters are out.

    Sangya Nagpal

  30. That was a heart wrenching post I must say. All mothers are afraid of the situation in the country and the delayed justice just adds to it. We have to make conscious efforts to raise kind kids with equality ingrained in them. What the issue is there are many parents still who will not teach this as their ideologies are different. but that does not mean we need to stop trying. Small changes are what will bring about the bigger and the much needed change. Very well written post.

  31. We need to be more confident and courageous to raise our voice against any evil that happens. Staying silent is the biggest mistake we have been following.

  32. I am losing hope everyday in our democracy and judiciary, not just nirbhaya but incidents in Delhi are giving me shivers. I used to feel happy to be back home when I come to India but this time the feeling is jittery and unhappy. I stand with you and all who wish to bring a change for our little children, They are yet to see the world.

  33. Being a mother of a daughter, I share this fear because of the environment around us. We have to be the change as you shared by raising our children in the right way but we need other steps too.

  34. Worries never go away! While we all can and will do what we can to bring about a change, we all also need to make our girls aware and prepare them to take care of themselves! And also make the boys aware and prepare them to bring about the required change!

  35. This is such a powerful piece of writing. I fully agree with you that justice delayed is justice denied, I too hope 3rd march will bring some semblance of solace to the mother who has been waiting for 7 years now. I also wholeheartedly agree with you about the kind of mothers we have become, I also hope for a day when things will be better.

    Meena from balconysunrise.wordpress.com

  36. Debidutta, it is indeed heart-wrenching to imagine what happened that fateful night. Thanks for taking a moment to reflect on it. Also, your poem is very well written and addresses many important issues.

  37. This is what keeps me up at night. We aren’t doing enough and we aren’t doing it fast enough. In the meantime we are running sprinting in our own lives and things like this take the back seat. I appreciate your call for action

    1. Thanks Namratha . I felt it deep down when i saw the heart-wrenching video of Nirbhaya’s mother.God Knows when we can move around in our own country freely and safely.

  38. The most horrific and horrible happening. The perpetrators should have been hanged long ago. You have captured a mother’s love and fight for justice very well. May March 3rd be the justice day. – Yatindra Tawde

  39. I can so related to your post. I was in Delhi that night and even joined the protest with my sister at India Gate in the hope of a change. However we still see similar horrific cases and justice either being denied or extremely delayed. I also feel this is more of the society issue that women feel unsafe. Now the thinking of people around us has gone so dirty that we can even trust our own family members. We can only hope that things will change!!

  40. You are so right Debi- as mothers and educated, intelligent women, we must herald a change for the better by raising our children correctly and teaching them empathy, respect and confidence to stand up to injustice of any kind. A wonderful post and I loved your poetic take inserted in the middle!

    1. Thanks Noor, but nothing in comparison to what you write. The way you weave your words to write your poems and stories.

        1. Thanks Noor for such kind and motivating words but I still feel small when i see such talented people around me. You are a prolific writer yourself , i love the way you play with words and weave such wonderful stories.

  41. I can completely relate to your post, my first blog A mother inside me changed was on same grounds that what changed inside me when I became mother to a girl, the fear that probably was less when I was mom to a son only.

  42. That horrific incident shook the entire nation. I remember during that time I had to travel by bus for over an hour to reach my office and that kept my mother worried all day. Today, as a mother, I continue to worry thinking nothing has changed. Hope justice is done. Glad to see you write on this topic as a part of the blog hop 🙂

    1. I was totally shaken off, the day i watched the heart- wrenching video of Nirbhaya’s mother. In a vast country like us were woman are worshiped are also raped brutally. We are all just watching and nothing happens.

  43. As the mother of a daughter I can feel your fear, every bit of it. Women can and will bring change. I have a son and in my own way I’m raising him to respect women and most importantly understand the meaning of consent. Small changes can begin at home, right? For bigger ones, we will keep up our fight!

  44. unfortunately the hanging is still a joke but until and unless we do not change our mindset, nothing will happen. If we women do not support another women such crime will constantly keep on increasing and there would be no end to the same.

    1. Absolutely, we have to be strong and be the voice to bring change or else atrocities on women especially in India will never cease.

  45. Though I am not in India but still I can feel the fear that every parent have for their daughters. Wonderful write up.

  46. So aptly put by you! Growing up in Delhi, I had always felt scared stepping out late in the evening. And, well Nirbhaya case just jolted me, like everyone. Hopefully, one day we will live in a more equal and safe society.

  47. This fear is taking away a lot from the present generation without their knowledge. The issue has been addressed, hopefully we have a solution soon. The change has to be wholesome. All the ends must be tied. Your conscious effort to choose this a woman’s day take is commendable.

    1. Thanks Shristi. I felt its a mockery to celebrate Women’s day in our country when justice is long overdue for such heinous act.

    1. Thanks Niddhi, I really felt for her when I saw her video . It’s a shame and hard-hitting reality that justice is still overdue.

  48. You have written the truth of being parent of a daughter. I have family and friends who are worried about their daughters. But, as you said we have to bring the change now and it has to begin with us.

  49. I totally understand your fears Debidutta ji. Every mother is worried for their child the moment they step out. It is not for a single person to bring about that change instead each and every one of has to take that pledge and the change will automatically come. We are hypocrites. There are people who will take out candle marches n in the night beat their wives. That’s the sad reality. We have stopped treating humans as humans. Hope every one wakes up before we all become animals. Lovely deep poem. All respect to that mother. I have seen her journey and it pains to see her everytime just seeking the so called long over due justice.
    #RRxMM #TheWomanThatIAm

    1. Please drop Ji from my name Manas, it sounds very formal. Absolutely, change can only come when all sincerely take a pledge for that but its heart-wrenching to see a mother all alone in her crusade.

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