Today’s generation most trending word is “cool”. How can moms be spared from this adjective??
“I am not a regular mom but a cool mom” is the statement made by moms of today’s teenager.
Don’t get me wrong, I am not at all against the word “cool”. But in today’s scenario, the present generation defines cool word in a very different way.
Being a cool mom can mean many things but it is most commonly associated with a mom who is both a parent as well as a friend. Cool mom too sets boundaries for their children but most importantly connects with their kids. Love them, appreciate them and help them grow for what they want to be.
Here is the trick to be one cool mom that your kid would be proud of.
1. Let your child know that they can talk to you without being judged.
It’s essential to get involved in your child’s life.Nobody likes authoritative figure so does your child. Approach them as a friend and give them the confidence that they can share anything under the sun with you without being judged.They won’t share all aspect of their life do respect their space, privacy and independence.
You can tell something like this, Rahul, “I want you to know that I love you unconditionally and I am there to listen to all your problems without judging you.” Showing genuine willingness would help you to connect with your child.
2.Give your full attention
In this digital era its difficult to give undivided attention to our kids but equally important. Do remember to show it in your body language when your child comes to you to share something.
- At times we think topics like sharing how their day went in their school, or which friend hurt them today or what was the most exciting thing that happened today are not important to give a cent percent attention. These small incidents might not be of great importance to you as a parent but in their growing phase that’s their entire universe.Not giving them attention can discourage them to share events and incidents that is shaping up their life.
- Put down your phone or turn off your Television when they approach you to share something. This gesture will help them to know that they are your first priority.
- Look towards them and make an eye contact.
- Don’t interrupt or give your reaction before.Listen to them first.
- Don’t give them lecture when they approach with a problem. Provide them with the solution.
3. Be Honest
Undoubtedly , its important to be a good listener but part of being cool mom is being honest with your child. Admit your mistakes genuinely and if possible do appologise. The genuine tone in your apology will help them to come and reveal their mistakes with you.
The moment you are sorry and let your child know that you too are a human being and equally vulnerable. They can relate to you.
Tell them examples from your life where you were being caught by your mother or messed up at school. Citing examples can help them understand and relate to present day situation they are in.
4. Be Affectionate
A warm hug or a tender touch goes a long way than words. Every human being craves for physical touch. It conveys your emotions more than mere words. Never hesitate to show your love to your little ones when they have a bad day or when they don’t choose to open up. My experience says whenever my little ones don’t share the reason of their gloomy face, the out pour of love from me makes them feel secured and they start sharing.
- Affection is also good way of showing that you are proud of your kid. Cool moms aren’t afraid of telling their children that they are proud of them, and they aren’t afraid to show it either.
- If you aren’t the physically affectionate type ,express your feelings for your children verbally. A simple expression like ” I love You” or “You are fantastic kid” will boost your children’s confidence and strengthen your bond.
5. Show an interest in your children’s activities
It’s very important to involve yourself in what your child is doing . You might hate cricket but if your child’s favorite game is that then do participate with him. Play with him, involvement is a great booster in child’s confidence and helps them to excel in whatever they pursue in life.
6.Allow your children to have their own interests and ambitions, even if you don’t find them particularly interesting.
Many parents try fulfilling their dreams through their kids without realizing that in the process they are crushing their kid’s passion. It’s not right to impose the burden of your unfulfilled dreams on the shoulder of your kids. They might not excel high or even create a name out of that. But it’s important to give them a chance to do what they like and want to pursue in life. Name and fame comes later in life but first that is key to success is passion. If your child is passionate about something let him chase his dreams, as a parent we can only support them.
Today in modern world when technology is offering new opportunity our parents don’t understand many things like blogging, content creation, freelancing etc but they have become profession of several .
Even if you don’t find interesting or fully understand what your child is doing,still then help them crystallizing their dreams or passion into reality.
7.Connecting with Your Children
Join Social Media
Learning to use the latest in social media can help your child be proud of you that you as a parent are updated and know whats trending. By joining social media you can achieve two things simultaneously. One that you are updated with the latest and second is that you can watch your child closely in Social media which has become a growing menace for this generation if not rightly used.As a parent it’s our duty to guide them and show them the correct path.
Recently, “Bois locker room” news have raised several questions on Indian parenting. Gender equality can be woven intricately in our society only if we practise it in our homes.
*Be a friend in your kid’s friends list –
Be a part of the friends list of your child, you are not only aware of his friend’s circle but can keep an eye on the topics that are entertained. Be an inactive or dormant member in social media channel, occasional likes or rare comment is what is appreciated and helps you hold the “Cool Mom” title.
It’s unwise to post personal statements or sentiments on your children’s social media.Never use Facebook, Twitter or Instagram to scold your child on the usage of social media; instead use it as an opportunity to be honest and have open conversation. Keep yourself at bay on social media.
8. Spoil them once in a while
As a mom I don’t entertain junk food or street side food but I do take my twins out for a Pizza or ice-cream treat as a reward or just to celebrate an occasion. Never use it as a bribe .
You can also take them out to a restaurant, amusement park or cinema hall just to have fun and be the cool mom that they want their mother to be.
Finally, would like to sum up that you are the MOM, not the best friend. Just to be in good books of your children don’t hesitate to set rules or discipline. Remember, you are the boss and you are there to show them right path to lead a happy life. Protecting them from all obstacles is your first duty as a parent.