Life is not just about years but the memories that you carry along, the battles that you win and the failures that you embrace with smile.
The memories that are etched forever in your heart stays with you for lifetime.
I stepped into 2010 to one of the most picturesque places “Queen of Hills” Shimla with my husband. It was like our second honeymoon. With long drives over the hills, enjoying the view of snow-capped mountains through window and being smitten by the mighty Himalayas . We had entered our fifth year of marriage and were planning for a family. This corporate girl of investment banking left her career at it’s peak to attain motherhood.
I might sound stupid for leaving my career in the middle for motherhood when technology can do wonders and create any miracle that one can wish for. But Life is a blank canvas, the shade that gets added are at times out of your control. I was a very ambitious girl and never in my wildest dreams had thought my career would be doomed.
With frequent transfers and family problems that we faced, I took the decision to give my time to my family rather career though it had its own negative impact on me. My intent was to take a short break but that became a sabbatical forever.
Initial years of the decade went in after futile treatments to conceive. I was lucky to have the support of my in-laws and my soulmate who never threw any barbs at me. When you are at home you seem to have ample time, 24hrs becomes 48 as you don’t know how to channelize it. Thanks to my hobbies that helped me not to be depressed and kept me sailing during my battle. Yes, it was a long battle of primary infertility that I fought with medical reasons unknown.
Medically, I was fecund enough to hold life within but destiny had its own plan. During my stay in Shimla, I started imparting my knowledge by teaching less privileged children that rendered me a sense of contentment. It’s rightly said “joy of giving” is far more than receiving, your giving need not be materialistic. With repeated failures of conceiving years passed on and we moved to Kolkata.
Kolkata, the land of great cuisine, rich culture, literature and art. This city exuberates it’s own charm and you are bound to fall in love especially during the “Pujo time”, you can smell the mirth and Maa Durga’s advent. It’s there in the air. Your heart is filled with the joy that is not backed by any mundane happiness.
It was 2012 and we were about to begin a new journey by taking the help of ART. Confused??? Thinking what ART has to do with Medical Science. Well, let me clarify it by giving the full form of ART (Assisted Reproductive Technology).
To cut the story, in short, I had to undertake three attempts of IUI (Intra Uterine Insemination) consecutively every month to face failure every time. Life seemed meaningless and hopeless with endless hospital visits, hormonal injections, numerous scans and anxieties. To add up to all my woes doctor advised me to go for a Myomectomy (removal of fibroid in the uterus) saying that little fibroid could be the sole culprit.
On 8th June 2012, entered the Operation Theatre for a minor laparoscopic surgery whose duration was supposed to be just one hour. To everyone’s horror, I came out from OT after 5 long hours.
The moment I opened my eyes all I could see was a team of nurses and doctors surrounding my bed as if I was a guinea pig for some experimentation. To my horror I found thick pipe was being forced deep down my throat and I was on a ventilator. Gasping for air the moment I removed my oxygen mask.
OMG!! ?What did happen to me?? Could smell something went wrong for sure.
That’s the benefit of being a life science student if not medical science I was sure something went drastically wrong. Next moment could see my teary-eyed mother – in – law and hubby hurrying to have a glance.
To sum it all up I had a close brush with the inevitable, fortunate enough to be still breathing in flesh and blood. More than me it was a harrowing experience for my family especially for my hubby who cried like a baby thinking that I was gone forever. I had collapsed on the Operation Theatre itself and my blood pressure had shot so high that it caused Pulmonary edema. In layman’s language water filling lungs, as a result you can’t breathe. After this shocking and stressful incident, we dared not to continue with our chase for parenthood. Bibek my soulmate almost took a “Bhisma Pratigyan” for not having a kid at all.
Time heals every wound but the quest for motherhood still lingered in my heart as a silent prayer.
The best thing to do when things don’t work out for you is to let it go. I too gave up the chase mentally and started seeking solace in my hobbies. I was a classical dancer during my growing up days and had learnt Kathak. But had a keen desire to learn Odissi maybe because it’s my home state.
Odissi helped me to heal both physically and mentally. My body, soul and ghungroo were in sync rendering me inner peace and stability. Further, it gave me a sense of accomplishment when I started giving stage performances and was regularly featured in the local newspaper. Apart from dancing giving tuitions to kids also helped me to heal. Interaction with them was fun and when they cracked JEE or topped the class or got gold medals in Olympiads I was not a proud tutor but a mother of twelve children. Yes, had dozen of them who were my students ten from Kolkata and two from Shimla. Till date, they are in touch and my heart swells with pride when they send me heartfelt messages and cards on Teacher’s day.
When you are desperate for something and even after giving up on your dream or desire, Universe starts conspiring for you. That’s the power of self-belief.
Towards the end of 2014, Bibek got a minor infection with high fever and the doctor who was treating him busted the myths regarding IVF that Bibek had. Thanks to the doctor who not only convinced him but also gave the number and address of the most successful IVF specialist of the city.
In just four months of the consultation, I conceived in the first attempt itself. After that, there was no looking back . In spite of a high-risk pregnancy, were in I was completely bedridden for 9 long months. Finally saw the light on July 2016. After walking a long dark tunnel of despondency I witnessed the dawn of motherhood with not just one but two bundles of joy.
We were proud parents of twins of a boy and a girl. My faith and belief in myself helped me win the longest battle of my life. It’s your belief in yourself that even compels the Universe to make Impossible possible for you.
Though my hands were full being a twin mom I still wanted to do something apart from raising my kids. Desired to have my own space wherein I could pour my heart and soul.
That’s how blogging entered my life. Apart from documenting my journey of raising twins, there was one more reason for entering into the virtual world. That it won’t go back to dust like my other ventures in past. Starting all over again is frustrating.
For blogging, I would just need an internet connection and a laptop or a mobile to work on, that’s it.
Now, no one could snatch it away from me and I gave birth to my third child “Womb2CradleNbeyond” in 2018. Though it’s two years now but started actively blogging only last year. Getting featured on best parenting community and brand collaborations, gave me the confidence to carry it forward with zeal. The best was when I bagged an International collaboration for my blog a couple of months back. That was my first paid collaboration that further boosted my spirits.
Writing was never my forte but surprisingly I authored a fiction ebook last year. “REBORN” , a novella which I wrote for the Pen to Publish contest organized by KDP of Amazon. Never thought in my wildest dreams to have authored an ebook.
It’s available at Amazon at the link below :https://www.amazon.in/dp/B07N7MF28D/ref=cm_sw_r_wa_apa_i_qYabEb92ZAZ7S
The teenaged decade was the most happening decade of my life. My journey from a wife to a twin mother to a blogger and then to the author.The shades that it added to my life canvas were evergreen making it the most cherished decade of my life till date.
At last but not the least the decade got over with a bang when we headed for a 10 day long International holiday to Singapore and Phuket. We all had memories to be treasured for lifetime as a family.
Initial years were of struggles, patience and determination but it all changed in the mid of the decade . Lesson learnt :
* Never give up when things don’t go the way we plan sometimes it’s far better when it unfolds in future. So have patience, strive towards your goal and give your best shot every time.
The best way is to go with the flow of life and navigate through it’s course within our capabilities.
The crux of life is trying making lemonade when life throws a lemon at you.
If you have read so far thanks for your patience.
Wish you all a rocking Decade ahead!!
This post is a part of ‘DECADE Blog Hop’ #DecadeHop organised by #RRxMM Rashi Roy and Manas Mukul. The Event is sponsored by Glo and co-sponsored by Beyond The Box, Wedding Clap, The Colaba Store and Sanity Daily in association with authors Piyusha Vir and Richa S Mukherjee.